feelin' myself.
the art & care of just being there
For so long I have yearned to be seen. I felt absolutely invisible to the world around me. Perpetually lonely and heartbroken, eventually I realized that I had been absent from my own eyes and feeling. I wanted others to be there for me, but I avoided myself like the plague.
Things started to change when I began to take the time to be with myself, in simple but profound ways. Here’s some things I tune-in to when I’m needing to feel loved:
I start with the 5 senses:
What am I seeing right now? I look around. Then I close my eyes.
What do I smell? (nothing is a valid answer. It’s still helpful to wonder)
What do I taste? (see above)
What do I feel in my body?
What does my breath feel like? Is it fast or slow? Deep or shallow? Am I breathing through my mouth or my nose? What does it feel like to breathe in? What does it feel like to breathe out? What does it feel like in-between breathing in and breathing out?
How does the air feel on my skin? How do my clothes feel on my skin?
How does my body feel on the surface below me?
What do I feel inside of me? Are there any feelings of pleasure or discomfort?
I notice my thoughts: What thoughts might be popping up? Though I focus on physical sensations, it’s common for thoughts to intrude. If so, no problem. I simply notice them.
I notice my emotions: Am I experiencing any big emotions? Emotions are the physical experience of thoughts. Here’s how they work: A thought happens, then the body responds. How does the emotion feel in the body? What thought is it connected to?
It generally takes me about 15 minutes to do the full scan. It’s amazing how much relief comes from simply being with myself, however I am.
When Just-Sitting-Around Feels Like Torture:
Having a hard time sitting still without feeling like ya wanna jump out of your skin?
Sometimes (ok -a lot of time) there’s so much going on in my mind, body and emotions that just sitting around can be a very chaotic and stressful experience. Though I understand the importance of practicing concentration and choosing positive thoughts, it’s not always easy to do when there’s a kajillion alarms going off within and all around me. In such times, try this:
Constant Companion: Journaling and Talkin’ to (our) Nature
